back in fashion

i went to makati this afternoon to get my transcripts. i haven't gone there in a very long time. i wasn't expecting to see anyone really. maybe just ms. colleen and ms. elsa. but to my surprise, sir gerry and sir danilo was there and even daniella.

sir gerry was really surprised when i told him of my plans. and honestly, i felt like i was putting him down somehow. but i really can't do fashion anymore. i LOVE fashion... who doesn't? and i LOVE creating. but that's it. the thing is, i love so many things and i want to do so many things. but i have to be practical and realistic somehow (as practical and realistic i could get... which is really still a bit absurd) and deep down, i'm really certain that this is right. it feels right. i haven't had this peace of mind since... high school.

makati... brings back the days. it was two years of my life. two years that flew by so fast. i met a lot of great people. but right now, everyone has gone their seperate ways. the only people i occassionally get to talk to now is happy, olive or venus. the others... nil. everything else has become fuzzy.

i remember scrimping back then because makati was expensive. i'd buy a donut from 7-11 or if i'm in the mood, a wasabi crab sandwich from oliver's. sometimes, when my classmates would be dining in greenbelt, i'd order from the appetizers of the menu. usually it's just soup. i remember the 30-minute walks from greenbelt to school during breaks when i needed to buy stuff from natio or fabric warehouse because taxi was too pricey.

first day of school ever, i was surprised that we were only 6. eventually, only 2 of us remained in the original batch--jendie and me. i remember everyone being so dressed up and i felt a little out of place and intimidated. i was really really shy then. the upperclassmen--maita's and finina's batch--looked like they stepped out from the wardrobe of "sex and the city". even my classmates were so... posh. i had on a plain loose white shirt, green cargo pants and slippers. the only "designers" i knew then were louis vuitton and christian dior (and they aren't even living designers).

i changed a lot in that school. it's like a "metamorphosis" in some way. i admired how everyone there carried themselves with charm and confidence and i slowly tried to interact with people a bit more. i learned a lot about dressing up. (i used to like dressing up differently even before but i learned the difference between tacky and stylish.) everyone was so well-travelled and talented. i got a taste of parties and celebrities and working behind the scenes. that's why i can't say that i truly regretted transferring. sure i do a little. i missed out on some great college experience. but you can't have it all as they say. and i don't think i'd be where i am right now if i didn't.

everything that happened had to happen. i think i'd be so much lesser than i am now if i didn't go through it. i'm not saying what i did was so much better than getting an actual degree (otherwise, i wouldn't be planning to get one now), it's just that for me personally, i needed to experience that.